Enough of the whining from me. Girls are bitches, girls will lie to you, blah, blah, blah ; its been said before. I reckon that even female readers (I’m just sure i have many of those) know the way their gender operate at this point. ”Tell me something I don’t know”, they yell at their computer screens. That is what i plan to do; tell you something you don’t know. There is no need to worry about an apocalypse, led by the devil. Crazy statement, huh? But let me explain.
No matter what religious beliefs you may hold on to, the idea of Satan is a daunting one. He is out to tempt you with the things you enjoy, in order to bring you down in the end. However, upon a closer look at the evidence, I believe we have overhyped Satan. He gets credit for ushering in all wrong doing, but I’d argue he does a crappy job of it. To explain this, let’s further examine the movies about his various “possessions” of people.
He is bad tactically:
If it’s your goal is to affect a group of people, then its important to go where the action is. For example, Batman (greatest superhero ever. but i digress) wants to make a difference in the world, so he sets up shop in crime-ridden Gotham City. Satan, however, is not so clever. Instead, Satan always seems to possess people in the most random of places. Nebraska, Kansas, Montana; if you wanna make a difference in America, you don’t want to go to these places. You won’t create fear throughout the country through this tactic; In fact it will be the opposite. The Northern states already mock the umm, less advanced states for their inbreeding, bull-riding, and constant UFO sightings. Who would believe their story about how their little Jamie was possesed by the devil himself. Little Jamie. Hmm. This leads to point two…
He only posseses young white girls:
O.K., so maybe Satan likes the backcountry. To a point you can’t blame him. I sorta like Nascar myself, and Southerners can cook quite a meal. Plus, he can still take down the high ranking officials in Alabama, right? Wrong. Satan never tries to get a CEO of a major corporation to do his bidding. Instead, he chooses to prey on defenseless young white girls. Now don’t get me wrong, I love defenseless, young, at least 18 year old white girls myself. That said, I keep my affection for them from ruining my ultimate goals. I certainly do not go to them when I want to take over the world. Sure, their parent’s will distraught for a while, but even that will suffice when they realize their possessed daughters listen to a considerably smaller amount of Justin Bieber that normal young girls.
Satan has terrible P.R.
I know what you’re thinking; you’ve taken all your arguments from fictional portrayals of Satan, and not from the real-life version. This is true. So let’s pretend he really is an evil genius for a second. The fact remains that such untruths could continually be about the Dark Master is perhaps the most damning (Damning. Satan. Get it.) evidence against him. This would mean the Devil has terrible P.R. On the one hand, we have God’s P.R. team, who are always make sure to keep him looking great at all times. Just look at Bruce Almighty - God is “almighty”, and played by Morgan Freeman. How much cooler can you get? On the other hand, the Devil frequently makes poor decisions. Any self respecting force of evil would have burned his agent on the spot after seeing Little Nicky. This is why I am not remotely afraid of Satan.
therealbluesteel
lolzerzilla
whitetuna88
I’m sorry, I’m kind of in a bad mood but this is just awful. Unless this whole thing is a joke I recommend suicide.
Sorry, after reading your “about red matter” I’ve changed my opinion. You are a technically proficient writer, but you write the same exact shit as everybody else. The only difference is you add “hipster-esque” sentences that hint that what you’re typing as well as your life is extremely unique when really you’re just as cookie cutter as everybody else.